Long time no see, people. And unfortunately the upcoming days are going to be pretty free of sexual shenanigans, or shenanigans of any kind, because my dad’s staying with me for a few days. I’ve been holding out on you though, which I’ll get to in the next post. I did manage to go out a bit tonight before my dad arrives tomorrow, but it was a fairly calm going out. Beer only, two dinners, and a rousing game of Frogger at Barcade, so it was obviously still a success in my book.
And before I get to the topic of my post, let me just say that I had my annual exam today. HIV free! High five! Not that I was worried, but it’s always good to check. Side note: did you know that forward-tipping uteri are the standard? The gold standard, if you will.
So one of my friends, DG, really wants a nickname for the blog. I couldn’t think of anything good because I don’t call him anything funny when I refer to him to my other friends. I’m sticking with DG, which are not his real initials, but stand for big brother in Chinese. Stop complaining, I’m low on creativity this week. I think it’s hormones. I’m totally switching to the ring.
The reason DG’s even in the blog is that we were talking about a conversation I had with a blog reader over Yahoo chat involving the taste and consistency of his cum. Obviously I write content that encourages that kind of talk, but I have to say I am a little surprised at how many people want to volunteer information about themselves that I so did not ask for. No offense to that reader. It was an interesting conversation and I enjoy talking to people. But still. I tend to shy away from chatting up strangers using lines like, “My pussy tastes like candy. It’s like the wettest, meltiest, grape-iest grape popsicle you’ll ever know!”
At any rate, DG then asked me if I had heard about the miracle fruit that makes bitter and sour stuff taste sweet by numbing those taste buds on your tongue. I knew all about it from reading this article awhile back but I had never considered using it for oral sex. Seems like a lot of trouble. Like a lot of exciting, enticing trouble….
An excerpt:
me: I don’t know though, those things are kind of expensive. I’d probably only do it for someone I really cared about. You don’t want to do it the first time with someone and then have the guy thinking that’s the norm. Because it’s so not.
DG: I totally understand. You don’t want a guy taking it for granted. But what if it tastes like vanilla frosting?
me: then I’m gonna need to keep a secret stash of them with me. Actually this could be a real selling point for me. The fruit would have to be secret, and then the cum would taste all good so I’d lick it up and he’d be all like ‘how’d my cum taste?’ and I’d go “like the tastiest cream cheese frosting on a carrot cake!!!” and he’d be thinking ‘man, this girl is amazing! she loves sex so much!’ and I’d be thinking “damn that miracle fruit is aptly named because this shit is disgusting.”
We also discussed the effects of pineapple juice and eating only donuts for dinner. One reason I like DG enough to nickname him DG: I mentioned the need for a more standardized study on the effects of foods on semen, and he suggested creating a graph, plotting both ideal digestion times and flavor results.
Anybody else ever tried anything with real success? And be realistic; your girls were probably lying to you.
2 Comments
October 11, 2008 at 4:44 am
A few years ago a friend of mine was going to make a cookbook about cooking with cum, but then his brother (who was helping with the book) won a huge lawsuit and suddenly he (the now wealthy brother) lost interest in the project and instead got a 19 year old pregnant. End of cum story.
Otherwise I have no real help for you here – though I have heard eating pineapples and kiwis work.
Thanks for letting me know about the forward-tipping uteri.
October 11, 2008 at 4:47 am
You know what that miracle fruit would also be good for? Participants on Fear Factor. “Mmmm, these sheep balls are delicious.”